Trusting the Other

Trust is a simple word that conveys so much meaning. To trust is to know that the other party has your interests at heart and then acts upon those interests.

Trust is broken so easily by just one act of betrayal, such as when partners cheat, or an employer practices lousy management.

Does trusting also demand loyalty? Can you have one without the other?

Our leaders, whether in government or companies, expect our loyalty. After all, we voted for them or chose to work in that company. We are doing them a favor by giving them loyalty.

However, trust is an entirely different matter. How can an abuse survivor ever trust their abuser or anyone for that matter? After breaking trust, what does the other need to do to regain that trust?

Donald Trump demands unconditional loyalty. If you don’t give that to him, he ejects you from his sphere, as he has James Comey and other whistleblowers. Some believe we need to be loyal to the president because he holds the highest office in the land. I beg to differ.

The Republicans don’t trust anybody. They work to suppress the vote, load court vacancies with unqualified Trump judges, and a myriad of other issues. Yet, Mitch McConnell and the Republican hoard in Washington will not do the people’s business. McConnell has over 400 bills sitting on his desk that he will not bring to a vote in the Senate. Does that make you trust him more? Or less? Is holding those bills from a vote doing the people’s business? No, it’s not.

We all are suffering from the effects of the COVID-19 outbreak and the murder of Black men and women. In today’s U.S., this is a trying time for all of us, and it isn’t getting better any time soon. People’s lack of trust in our institutions is at an all-time low. We can’t get a president to pay attention to the pandemic and do the right thing by and for Americans. Congress gave away millions to companies that already make millions while leaving the taxpayers out in the cold.

Effective leaders understand that it is not loyalty, but trust, that produces cultures that, in turn, create sustainable results. Our culture is based on a racist background, starting when this country was first founded in the 1600s and brought the first Black slaves over. Our white supremacy is based on brute strength and subjugation of those we deem as lesser than ourselves. Is it any wonder that Native Americans, Black and Hispanic people don’t trust those of us who are white?

Is it any wonder that we had so many protests after the killing of George Floyd, one more Black man among many murdered because of the color of his skin? Is it any wonder that people of color cannot trust the white man? What reason have we given them to trust us?

We all know we cannot trust Donald Trump, who has not shown empathy or care to or about Americans. Our presumptive Democrat nominee, Joe Biden, appears to be trustworthy. Will he do the right thing? Those right things include:

• Reducing corporate power

• Forcing corporations to pay their fair share in taxes

• Obtaining the proper medical supplies to fight this pandemic

• Providing affordable health insurance for all

The Republican response to the epidemic is killing thousands. It proves what I’ve been saying for years: the Republican party does not care about you or I. They only care about making the rich richer and letting the poor go hungry.

A friend asked me one time if I hated all Republicans. No, I don’t hate them, I disapprove of their shenanigans to stay in power. I get angry when they talk about women as second class citizens and think it is "God's plan" when a woman is raped and gets pregnant. I think Republicans are the party of mean, led by Mitch McConnell, and that they betray our trust every day.

Democrats are not off the hook, either. What backbone they showed earlier this year with the impeachment disintegrated in recent months. On Twitter, I see people like Ryan Knight and Peter Daou abandon Democrats. I haven’t quite figured out why, but it concerns me. Mr. Knight is now an avowed socialist. Did the Democratic party betray their trust when Joe Biden became the presumptive nominee? Of course, that goes into an entirely new discussion of how the DNC works and isn’t appropriate for this column.

I pray that our new administration and Congress in 2021 will work hard to restore trust with the American people. In all honesty, I’m not sure either party can accomplish the goal.